by Scott N. Bradley 

The Father's Role in Home Schooling
LDS Home Education Convention
Thanksgiving Point, Utah
07 June 2002

Some years ago when I spoke to this convention, I commented that I felt that I was speaking to the great vanguard. I still feel that. I am honored to be here in your presence. I see this great movement as being the hope of the Nation and the world (in concert with the Gospel) to prepare the world-those who will-for the coming of the Lord. 

I have been asked to briefly address the topic of "a father's role," with particular emphasis on the role a father may play in his family's home schooling effort. This is such a huge topic, and could follow so many divergent paths and methods time really will not permit a full review of this eternally important subject. I say eternally important because fathers and families are integral in the Eternal Plan which has been set forth by our Eternal Father. 

The research I did in preparation to understand the issue led me to literally thousands of statements by those who have been called as mouthpieces of the Lord in this dispensation, as well as much wisdom which is found in the scriptures. Of interest is the fact that fathers and their role seems to be a current topic which is on the mind of the brethren. In this month's Ensign magazine is a reprint of a message which was written by The Quorum of the Twelve Apostles back in 1973. The title of the article is "Father, Consider Your Ways." It is worth reading! 

In preparation for this conference, as I reviewed the words of the prophets, not surprisingly, much of what I found contradicts contemporary wisdom as espoused by those who are called "wise" by the world.  

For example, it is significant to me that in all of the "evidence" I reviewed in this effort, I did not find a single instance where the Lord instructed (or even suggested) that more government sponsored "programs", or extracurricular "activities", would or should be  implemented which would take the family apart. Quite to the contrary! The advice was always and unequivocally to encourage families to return to hearth and home, and each other--to pull together and away from the world. It seems that in the Lord's program we do not need more team sports programs, more clubs, more divisive or diverse activity. We need to come together, learn and love together, and seek the great blessings we were sent here to obtain. And the father's part in this effort is critical!  

While the necessity of pure, sweet wholesome family recreation is recognized, the diversions of the world, all-to-often, become the great goals of those who participate in them, and detract us from our proper focus (to the detriment of the family and individual, when taken in an eternal perspective).  

In order that we might have a measure of understanding regarding the importance of this challenge, perhaps it would be appropriate to briefly reflect on the purpose of our existence in this mortal life.

Of course, we know that it is God's work and glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.  

We know that a short, simple definition of eternal life is that it is God's life, or, in other words, those who gain eternal life are able to live the same type of life God lives---throughout eternity. 

We know that God's life is focused and centered upon family life. That those sweet, pure relationships which we cherish so dearly are, or can be, eternal, everlasting and unending.

Think of it--the family was designed by God to endure throughout the eternities! God Himself is a family man, He is our Father-He has instructed us to call upon Him by that divine title-Father; and if we are to achieve all that we were sent here to achieve, we, too, must preserve our families.  

Is it any wonder that Satan has made such a concerted thrust to destroy the family? The family is key to our eternal life and exaltation.  

There are almost innumerable distractions in this mortal existence which divert our attention and effort from the true purpose for which we were sent to this earth.

It seems amazing, but we seem to have some sort of attention-deficit disorder which causes us to cast aside all that is most desirable in all eternity to pursue fleeting diversions of insignificant, and in many cases, destructive value. 

The family is the only institution of this life which has the potential of continued existence throughout all eternity. All  other institutions, including your ward, your stake, and even the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints will not exist in the eternities. 

This statement in no way demeans the eternally important role the Church plays in helping us obtain all that Father has offered to us. 

The Church exists as an instrument to assist us on our efforts to individually gain eternal life and exaltation, and to build eternal families. 

The doctrines of salvation are found within the Church, as are the saving ordinances. The Church holds God's delegated authority to perform those ordinances, and have those ordinances recognized in the eternities. 

Indeed, the gateway to the Celestial kingdom is opened by baptism into the Church, and families are sealed together into eternal units by the great sealing power of the priesthood found in the Temple.  

But, not withstanding the great mission and charter of the Church, which is to bring souls to Christ, it is the family unit which is to endure in God's presence in the eternities. 

Our focus is to come unto Christ so our families may dwell together in the presence of God and our eternal family. 

So much has been written and spoken by God's mouthpieces on earth, both anciently and in modern times in regards to this great truth! 

Many hundreds of hours would be required to review the powerful words which have been spoken in this regard, and certainly the time available today is such that I will not attempt to give a comprehensive review.  

It will have to suffice to say that I testify to you of the eternal importance of the family!

While The Church plays a critically important role in the salvation of the individual and the family, it seems that we in the Church, by our actions and attitudes, often diminish the part the family has to play in this great effort to obtain eternal life and exaltation, and we, perhaps, often place too much of the emphasis on the Church. Listen to just a couple of statements in this regard:

First, Ezra Taft Benson:

Of course, most of us have the 1995 "Proclamation on the Family" posted in our homes to remind us of these sacred truths.  

Second, listen to the words which Elder Bruce R. McConkie delivered to a Regional Representatives' seminar on October 3rd 1974:  

It seems that we often loose sight of this critically important truth, and the organizations of the Church begin, with good intentions, to reverse the roles and see themselves as the one with the primary responsibility, and the parents and family in the supportive role.  

This is not the Lord's way. It cannot and will not work.  

The key is that the parents and family need to begin to see the responsibility as theirs and to begin with renewed dedication to perform all of the labors which the Lord has placed upon them, and which are inherent in their eternal stewardship.  

Remember, the Church, once it has brought the message and ordinances of salvation to individuals and families, is designed to operate in a supportive role to assist individuals and families to eternal life.  

I am convinced that in order for the Church to obtain Zion, individual Melchizedek Priesthood holders, fathers, in the Church must begin to fulfill their roles as righteous patriarchs in their own homes---leading, teaching, blessing, and loving those whom have been entrusted into their care in a most Godly way.

Therein lies one of the great challenges of today! Fathers must begin to measure up to their divinely appointed role, and begin to faithfully and diligently teach each member of his precious family of the eternal worth of each of them, individually, and the necessity of them measuring up to their great potential as a son or daughter of God, and fulfilling the stewardship that will be theirs as they seek to progress along the pathway which Father has asked us to follow. The duties of a father must not be taken lightly!

Listen to the words of Ezra Taft Benson in this regard:  

I suspect that most of us began home schooling our children, at least in part, because of our desire to unify our families in this path of progress. 

Unfortunately, some fathers have, by default or otherwise, come to act like the mother of their children can fulfill that hope with minimal participation in the process by them as the husband and father. This attitude will reduce the effectiveness of your home school program. Those of us who are fathers must begin to play an integral role in the process if success is to be maximized.

What would be wrong with you teaching some of the subjects? What would be wrong with you reviewing their assignments each day? In a few minutes you will hear what Ezra Taft Benson said about the importance of dad's involvement in family activities, and how that involvement powerfully reinforces the value of these activities. Apply his words to your home school.

Teach and promote the inspired principles upon which this Nation was founded.  

Expose and combat the false philosophies of socialism, humanism, rationalism, organic evolution and the other destructive concepts which are promoted so widely today. 

What good is home schooling if it is only a reflection of the so-called education everyone else is getting?  

In addition, and perhaps over-arching so many of our other duties in home school, we fathers need to be instruments in counteracting the "discouragement and doubt" factor. Satan does not want your home school to succeed. He will use all of the means at his disposal to seek to thwart it.  

He will whisper to your wife that she can't succeed. He will try to make her feel like she is a failure, like her efforts are in vain, or she is not capable. 

She needs to have you reinforce the knowledge that she has a divine calling that comes with divine support. God will give to her the wisdom, strength, faith, and courage necessary to fulfill the duties associated with her divine role. You need to help her know this! 

You are partners in this. Your support, love, and encouragement are essential. Your criticism is not. 

Spend time with her, listen to her, counsel with her. You are partners. Your love and time are essential. So are your prayers.  Exercise your priesthood on her behalf. Bless her, thank God for her. 

All of this advice applies equally to your children! 

Perhaps we will not become defensive and feel that we are being singled out and criticized unfairly if we realize that the Lord took the time to remind the members of the First Presidency that, in spite of the huge task they had been give to establish the Church and Kingdom in the last days, they needed to give more attention to the matters at home than they were. Hear the Lord's admonition to The Prophet Joseph Smith, his counselors, and the Bishop of the Church, as found in Doctrine and Covenants 93:38-50:

It seems that the sacred work within their homes could not be sacrificed for even so important work as saving the entire world. If that is the case, how do you think your excuses for distraction measure up?  

If these men, whom the Lord had entrusted with so great a task for the whole world needed to give more attention to their families, should any of us doubt the importance of applying this advice to ourselves? 

Because the time is so short today, and because the words of the prophets are so much more important than my opinions, allow me to quickly review ten points of guidance for fathers which were given by President Ezra Taft Benson which will help us succeed in our divinely appointed roles as husband and father:

Quoting President Benson:  

In regards to a father's duty, President Benson also taught us that:

These are some of the duties we have to those within our care. There is great wisdom and power in obedience to the counsel given by the Lord's chosen mouthpiece.

In the brief time remaining, I would like to review the critical importance of virtue and purity in a world which seeks to besmirch and sully all that is virtuous, lovely, of good report and praiseworthy, and perhaps encourage fathers in their efforts to preserve those great attributes in their families. 

In his monumental final testimony before the world and the Church, President Ezra Taft Benson bore the following solemn witness: 

We are daily witnesses of those growing battles! They rage on every front! We are cautioned that even the very elect will be grievously challenged by the events and circumstances of the day in which we live. But we are given hope, also. President Benson assured us:  

"God will provide strength for the righteous and the means of escape; and eventually and finally truth will triumph." (See 1 Ne. 22:15-23.) (Ibid.)  

The hope of our individual triumph lies in faithful obedience to all of the laws and ordinances of the gospel-holding fast to the iron rod--- and an unwavering devotion to our Savior, Jesus Christ.  

While we embrace the concept of seeking after all that is virtuous, lovely, of good report, and praiseworthy, those of the world are dedicated to destroying all that is virtuous, lovely, of good report, and praiseworthy.  

The accelerated moral slippage of society is readily apparent to any honest observer. Recent years have brought to the world a decadence which was unimaginable just a generation ago. Along with the increased availability of pornographic material through the Internet and other media sources, I cannot help but wonder if a large percentage of the blame for this moral slippage cannot be attributed to expanded sex education programs in the government school system.  

Perhaps that pernicious, lurking, virtue-destroying threat is a major motivator for many who have chosen to home school their children. Perhaps there are some who have taken seriously their God-given charge to prepare a generation to be worthy to meet their Savior, and they are seeking diligently to "more fully keep (themselves and their families) unspotted from the world." (D&C 59:9)  

It is to those of you that have this sweet feeling in your heart that I speak today, by way of a little encouragement, and with a great deal of overwhelming gratitude for your humble devotion to the cause of righteousness.  

Rarely will the world provide encouragement or endorsement to you for your courageous efforts. More often than not, criticism comes not only from the world, but also from those closest and dearest to us. Family members can often be our most hurtful critics. But, we must be of good cheer, for it is not the world, or those who are of the world that we must please-it is our God. And through His chosen servants, and by the whisperings of the Spirit we have received great light and knowledge in this critically important matter.  

Latter-day apostles and prophets have eloquently and powerfully framed this subject! We have been instructed that all things are to be kept within the bounds the Lord has set. If we examine the approach taken by the brethren in regards to the subject of sex education, countless examples can be given wherein the bounds are defined. It seems that in every recent general conference, and in other meetings in which the brethren address sexual issues, their words are very measured and selective. They do not titillate the mind or risk stepping beyond the bounds of that which properly belongs in another, less public setting. 

We are instructed to seek that which is virtuous, lovely, of good report, and praiseworthy. Indeed, we have been told to "...let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly." (D&C 121:45) And the scriptures define "Zion" as a condition in which the people are (among other things) pure in heart.  

Let us consider these concepts for a moment or two. Often, as the Lord presents principles to us, He associates great promises which will be bestowed upon those who are obedient to the principle. With the admonition to "...let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly" comes five priceless promises. Hear the scripture: 

Note the promises to those who let virtue garnish their thoughts unceasingly: 

First: Their confidence will wax strong in the presence of God. They will feel comfortable and welcome in His divine presence. 

Second: The doctrine of the priesthood shall distill upon their souls. The great power and blessing of the priesthood will become theirs.  

Third: The Holy Ghost will be their constant companion. Think of it-the great gift of the Holy Ghost shall be theirs, and they will have close association with a member of the Godhead. 

Fourth: Their scepter will be an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth. A scepter is a symbol of authority and power.  

And Fifth: Their dominion (or kingdom) shall be everlasting, and without force or compulsion it shall flow unto them forever.

Marvelous, incredible, eternal blessings associated with virtue! 

And the Lord has revealed the curse of those who will not be virtuous, saying, among many other things:  

While it is important for both men, women, and children to be pure and chaste, and there is no "double standard" in this matter before the Lord, yet it seems that the Lord has particular regard for the purity of His daughters, as noted in Jacob 2:28. In this matter, Young Women's President, Sister Margaret D. Nadauld stated: "Women of God are tender, not tough; kind, not course; refined, not rude; of faith, not fame and fortune; good, not greedy; virtuous, not vain; pure over popularity. Oh, how we pray that every young woman will grow up to be all the wonderful things she is meant to be."  

Tragically, in the graphic and often perverse sex education programs of this day, many of those who otherwise would be pure and chaste are flagrantly bombarded with that which besmirches virtue and purity. When one reviews the world's teaching and approach to this subject, it is easy to see why some, particularly sweet young women, would feel "betrayed and dirty" by the assault on decorum and purity to which they are exposed. "Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies." (Proverbs 31:10)  

Hopefully, there are even some young men left within the Church who would feel ill at ease in these settings. Those who have sought all their lives to keep the base and crude from their lives would certainly have their tender and chaste feelings offended when they are compelled to participate in the world's "education" program.  

Is it the place of the school (or any organization for that matter) to drag the pure and undefiled through the muck of the world to get the message to those who already indulge in the world's filth? Is it necessary to tear away the veil of modesty from that which is sacred in order to come to know God's plan of procreation? Is it not possible that appropriate understanding could be achieved in a more delicate manner, and a more private setting, and still conveyed the necessary information? 

Some years ago the First Presidency gave this advice in regards to sex education:  

Are we willing to follow that advice, which is so plainly contradicted by the wisdom of the world today?  

We are instructed: "...if ye receive not the Spirit, ye shall not teach." (D&C 42:14; see also D&C 50:17-24) Is the Spirit present for most people during a public teaching of sex education material? Is it possible that the Spirit could be offended and withdraw during such a presentation?  

It is my opinion that we cannot ignore the prophetic voice of warning without great risk. History confirms this opinion. The experience of the human race is filled with painful examples of consequences faced when prophetic utterances were cast aside, and disobedience was willful.  

Fathers, we must take the lead in holding this standard within our families.  We must take all necessary measures to assure that we and our families remain as pure and unsullied as possible in a world which seeks constantly to defile. 

Perhaps I may illustrate this concept which was conveyed to me through a Stake President under which I served as a High Councilor a few years ago. 

We participated in a regional conference with ten other stakes. President Gordon B. Hinckley and Acting President Boyd K. Packer came to teach us.  

During a break in the leadership training, the eleven Stake Presidents were to meet in a ward cultural hall for a meal with President Hinckley and President Packer. 

 Of course, the Stake Presidents arrived very promptly and were all assembled before President Hinckley and President Packer arrived (no one would want to be late for such a meeting!!).  

The faithful Relief Society Sisters had set the tables and prepared a lovely meal. The sisters were waiting to serve the meal to the brethren when they arrived.

President Packer arrived next. He quickly surveyed the setting and immediately said to the Stake Presidents: "There will be no sisters in the room during this luncheon. Find some Melchizedek Priesthood brethren to be our servers."  

My Stake President admitted to me that he immediately thought: "What a chauvinistic attitude."  

Perhaps President Packer read it in his eyes, or perhaps he discerned it by some other means, but he immediately stated: "You do not understand. We will be discussing some very gritty things while we are here, and we will not sully the sisters of the Church."

Isn't that interesting! The purity of God's daughters is so important, and the brethren are so sensitive to the risk of destroying it that they would not allow mothers, wives and grandmothers act as servers of a meal in which they might overhear that which might besmirch them.  

Think about that. Think about the settings into which most of the daughters of God are sent each day. Think of what is shouted up and down the halls of a junior high or high school during each class break. Think about what is often spray painted on the walls of the schools. Think of what is being taught in many of the classes. Think of the vulgar messages which are conveyed in crude attempts at humor. Think of the so-called music that dulls the senses. Think of the movies many attend. Think of the magazines we pass each day as we shop in our grocery stores. Think of the internet sites which are so easily accessible. The list of risks is almost unending.  

There is great risk in the cavalier attitude we have of these matters today! When that which is most sacred becomes most common, and when the safeguards are removed, and virtue of mind and thought is lost, the individual, the family, and society are in great danger.  

And those who have not witnessed the moral slippage of recent years have either been very sheltered in this degraded world, or they have been naively deceived. Witness how dress standards have generally slipped, how language has become more crude and coarse, and how young women have become the aggressors and participants in so many illicit interactions. If we will read the signs we may quickly recognize that the moral standard of the Nation is in grave danger. And certainly the corruption of young men has been just as precipitous. 

It falls to fathers to rally and safeguard the purity and sweetness of our families. We must step forward and not only practice the greatest of virtue in our own lives, we must unequivocally teach it to our families. We must show unbending leadership in this matter if the family is to be preserved for the coming generations. 

Certainly, I perceive and believe that those here today are among the most valiant and dedicated in the world to preserving all that is virtuous, lovely, of good report, and praiseworthy. Thank you for all that you do to remain pure and undefiled in a very defiled world. Thank you for faithfully seeking to raise up a generation that is unspotted from the world, and worthy to receive our Savior. May God bless our efforts as we faithfully seek to fulfill our divinely appointed roles in His kingdom, particularly those sacred callings as parents and grandparents in Zion, for surely we should be anxiously seeking to bring Zion into our lives-wherein we may be of one heart and mind, dwelling in righteousness, having no poor among us, and being pure in heart. (Moses 7:18; D&C 97:21)  

Oh, how I wish that there were time to review in more detail the grand and glorious vision of eternal families. 

I wish there were time to review the importance of families teaching their precious little ones the truth from their most tender years.

I wish there were time to focus on the sweet relationship which God intends to have exist between husband and wife.  

The prophets have spoken so powerfully and eloquently in these matters! 

There is so much which I must leave unsaid. I pray that the Spirit will touch each of our hearts in these matters, that we will seek out, study, and understand these truths--- that we will go forward with renewed dedication in our efforts to not only teach and lead in these matters, but also to individually live up to them ourselves.

I bear testimony of the eternal principle of family.  

I bear testimony that we must individually, and as families, come unto Christ with all our hearts if we are to obtain eternal life and exaltation.  

I bear testimony of the truth of the gospel, of its restoration, and of its saving ordinances.

May we as fathers and mother, sons and daughter, and grandparents diligently fulfill our divine roles as appointed by our loving eternal Father, and His Son.

Thank you, and may God bless you in your efforts!

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