Watch out---It's Contagious

As I was sitting in a small homeschool conference a veteran homeschooling mom was telling us about her very structured and productive day. I leaned over to my companion and said, "You've got to be kidding. No one in their right mind can do that." As the mom finished her presentation she then told us of a very debilitating disease she had caught very early in her homeschooling career and has never been able to completely eliminate from her body. It was Comparitivitis.

After the chuckles had died down, the head nodding stopped and the meticulously taken notes quickly crossed out, she told us of her disease that had nearly made her career as a homeschooling mom come to a halt some 15 years earlier.

I honestly have to tell you that I had tuned the mom out until she told us about her "disease." I questioned myself, why did I put my pencil down and start reading the other material in my handouts when she put up her very elaborate schedule (even if it turned out to be fictitious)? Because I suffered from the same disease.

The worse thing we as homeschooling parents can do is compare our school, life, children, home or whatever with the neighbor or friend...homeschooling or not. Admit it, we as parents have no clue what we are doing. I remember not knowing what a five year old was supposed to know and what they should be doing. I got books and looked at all the other kids. Little did I realize that if I trusted the "mommy" in me and let more or less life happen to this boy we would get along wonderfully and he would see the world of learning opening up to him.

Now this isn't to say I stuck my head in the sand and not direct traffic. No, I just didn't force reading, writing and arithmetic on him. I let my child tell me when he was ready. My oldest wasn't ready to read until he was nine. Oh, how that killed me; see the disease struck me with force when this little girl in his primary class stood up at four and read. "We are behind," were the words that screamed in my brain that Sunday.

Comparing only will bring disappointment. Each child will go at his pace. Just because your Johnny can't read at 3 and Susie next door can does not mean Johnny is stupid, slow and will never catch up. It just means Johnny isn't ready to read. Who said Johnny had to read by kindergarten age to be "smart?"

Comparing among our friends is very dangerous, and may I caution that comparing between siblings will only bring hurt, and destroy delicate egos and spirits before they have had a chance to even pop their little heads out of the ground. I like to think of comparing as the late frost that will kill the delicate plants that have just begun to bloom.

We have six children and except in looks, not a one is like the other. Each child was sent to this earth with a time table all his own and with desire and appetites unique to just them. Like snowflakes, no two humans are the same--even if they look the same as they do at my house.

I still suffer from this debilitating disease from time to time, but all I need to do is look at my oldest and realize he didn't miss anything because that little girl could read before him. I look at my friend's piano prodigy child and realize, that that isn't a gift my child has. I look at the public school children who are doing "ABC & XYZ" and realize that my kids are doing "LMNOP" and it is OK because I no longer suffer from comparitivitis; at least not at this moment.

by Doreen Blanding

please contact her at waldsfe@hotmail.com for permission to use

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